The Operating Room Has A/C

A little A/C goes a long way.

Maybe you guys have experienced something similar to this? You feel crabby and overwhelmed and you have a snack and realize maybe it’s not so bad and you just needed some popcorn?

Well… For me, it’s a nice blast of air conditioning. There have been many points of feeling overwhelmed, stretched, frustrated… but it’s amazing what the feeling of cold air hitting your face can do for your soul and bring you back from the edge.

I thank God for A/C. And a pool……both of which have helped me feel refreshed and renewed here in Togo over the past two months.

I have been here two months. Some really great days, some really hard days. Some of the stuff I expected to be hard and were easy, and some vice versa. I have really loved being back in the OR (which does have A/C most days), although also a site of frustration and self-evaluation. A place where a year ago felt like my domain and my realm has become a place where I second guess myself and 50% of the time am reading about a procedure I’ve never done before the night before (if I’m lucky enough to have lead time to plan).

God’s saving grace has been my team. Dr. Jack and Dr. Brandon are the other surgeons I work with most days. We also have another surgeon who consults on the really complicated stuff, Dr. Tom. They have been so kind, so available, so encouraging. I really feel supported, which is the only way to actually thrive in this environment. I often love being able to look back and see what God was doing and why He sent me certain places, and I know He has me here because He knows I love a good team. I have learned so much from these colleagues already, and mostly just learned that it’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to say “I don’t know, but I’ll do the best I can” and sometimes it’s just nice to have someone else stumbling through it with you, together.

I did my first solo hysterectomy this week and am getting more and more comfortable on my own. The pathology here is crazy, as expected, but some things are definitely harder than expected. I have had full clinic days of telling people they have inoperable cervical/breast/stomach cancer. Days where I question if I can actually help anyone. And those days are the days that God is so present with me in the patient rooms. I can say to a patient “I cannot offer you anything surgically, but I can offer you the hope of a God who loves you.” It’s still hard. But thats exactly why I’m here.

But, like, what do you do for fun?

I get this question a lot. And it is a fair question. I have been reading a lot more books, also still watching Netflix (yes, I get Netflix here…. I’m not THAT far off the map). I cook, we have game nights and ice cream Saturdays. We go on some local hikes around to waterfalls and local lookouts. We walk “up the mountain” near the compound and watch the sunrise. We play sports. We go to market. Not a lot of restaurants, but do have guest house chef’s who, I hear, make a mean fried chicken for Sunday lunch that I will probably try out tomorrow.

Also just keeping in touch with my people. Trying to still be present in their (your) lives even if I can’t physically be there. Video chats and phone calls and sending memes and videos back and forth. It seems simple, but I really do still cherish those little connections.

Also, keep reading for the other thing keeping me busy….

Patient Spotlight

It’s honestly hard to choose just one. The first who comes to mind is a patient who I saw in clinic. I did an exam which was honestly confusing…. So I called for help and backup. Another surgeon also did the exam and was equally perplexed. She was boarded for multiple different things, basically a possible this possible that, depending on what we found. She ended up having a fibroma in her uterus which had prolapsed completely through her cervix, basically like an hourglass. We ended up doing a hysterectomy and piecemeal removing this fibroma (benign tumor of uterus) slowly but surely. We kept remarking at how this woman was walking around with this tumor the size of my head in her pelvis. People here have a remarkable tolerance of pain and discomfort. I just got to discharge her yesterday and she had the biggest smile on her face. She was always up walking out of bed like I had told her to do and always so thankful. I got to pray with her and her husband and it was a great day.

By far, the most exciting addition…. is Bissap. She is a little wild African pup that I have adopted and has absolutely stolen the hearts of everyone. I got her at 6 weeks old and was actually terrified about keeping her alive, but here we are two weeks later and she is thriving. Already much fatter and is well loved by everyone on compound. Bissap (Bee-sap) is a hibiscus flower here that is used to make tea, I wanted a small callback to my previous dog, Flower, so I picked a Togolese flower as a name. We call her “B” for short. She has brought a lot of joy and laughs and companionship. I now have something that relies on me to keep it alive. (I guess besides my patients on the OR table)

What I’m reading/watching/listening to

Still doing bible study with my college girlfriends on “He Loved Them”
Still reading Fate of Africa
Listening to “For the Love” podcast by Jen Hatmaker, and “Joy” podcast by Craig Ferguson
New Lauren Daigle album AND new Olivia Rodrigo album. Very eclectic mix over here
Enjoying watching Brooklyn 99 and The Guardians of the Galaxy Trilogy

Prayer requests

Resiliency on the hard days
Discernment for future steps
Continued deepening of community and friendships…. you know how much I love people.
Continued learning and growth as a surgeon